Retail Recommendations: Sales Worth Getting Involved In

Its the season of joy, tidings to all men and cheap stuff you probably wouldn't have bought otherwise. With the massive range of sales out there you need to know where to go. Dont be fooled by the sales assistants telling you they dont know when mark downs are going to happen, weasel it out of them. 

'Sorry were just a small multi-billion pound retail giant, how could we possibly know the date of the sales in advance' - a shmuck

For the moment though. let sift the shit from the sauce

Clothes

TOPMAN - With its wide range of less than original clothing you cant afford to not buy all the stuff they didn't manage to sell in spring. Visit the site, buy two t-shirts, if you're lucky, your best friend will only own one of them.

Sale Rating - 'Flawless'

ALL SAINTS - is currently on the forefront of fashion, with its wide range of clothes that look like they were recovered from a fire. If you're going to spend your hard earned cash, why not buy something with loads of holes in it. Because cutting open holes is more expensive than sewing them up.

Sale Rating - 'Flawless'

ASOS - So much stuff you will literally try to fuck the screen. Trawl over thousands of pages of things that look nigh on identical. Dont be scared by the fact most of it wont fit when you get it, Because at least you'll get it.

Sale Rating - 'One to Miss

Media

PLAY - Have you ever wanted the complete collectors edition of Home and Away for less than the price of a salmon baguette? Have you ever desired a wildely out of date bluetooth headset.

Sale Rating - Flawless

Beauty

The Body Shop - Every time you walk into the body shop you're overwhelmed by that mustard gas like sensation, now with over 50 percent off you can take that home with you.  The Body Shop will give your house that 'musty' tone you always wanted...twice.

Sale Rating - One to Miss

Others

ACTION AID - A guilt free christmas is a little cheaper this year. Keep your mind off of dead babies in the new year for only 15 english coins a month. Because they are clearly to unhealthy to sweep the flies out there eyes, but they love building wells.

Sale Rating - One to Miss

Fin.

Hopefully with this advice you will be well on your way to buying something you dont want, may not need, but decided to spend money on despite these negatives. Have a turbo sale bonanza.

From the Editor - 'a pretty medium deal'